TROY WOMEN
ANDROMACHE
Mother may I speak to you about collapse?
For Polyxena it’s like she was never born.
Maybe that comforts you.
In death there is no grief. No loss.
While my life is a map of sadness.
I say without shame that I was an ambitious woman.
I wanted a high reputation.
I built one.
I watched it crack against the ground
fragile as a vase.
I have held myself to standards.
I have been beyond reproach.
They say a woman who walks will stray.
So I kept home.
Imagined the outside.
A person of position can command
even her own longing.
They say wit in a wife is a wayward sign.
So I spoke to myself.
I know how women become friends
swapping laughter and information.
It is addictive.
So I spoke to myself.
I am interesting.
My mind is a teacher.
They say the man is ruler
so he ruled.
They say talk in a woman is brass
so I was gold.
They say if you look at the sun you go blind
so I watched the floor for reflection.
And action during pregnancy causes disaster
so I lay with my feet up
waiting.
They say Andromache is a model wife.
They say Andromache is a lady.
They say now, I want Andromache.
The son of Achilles picked me from all the women
due to my reputation
which had of course spread to Greece.
A place I did not expect to see.
Mother.
They say something else.
A night of pleasure with one man
erases another.
There is a way to touch a woman so she forgets everything that went before
so she bucks against a face a hand a body
like a horse.
A mare if you switch her partner will refuse to bear the weight
and she is only a beast.
I hate women for this.
And I think about touch.
Hector, you were my everything.
Wise and beautiful, brave and rich.
I came to you a sealed box.
You unlocked me.
Now, in Greece,
I will fail you whatever I do.
Do you see why I call Polyxena lucky?
Hope is old candy.
I can’t eat it anymore.
Mother may I speak to you about collapse?
For Polyxena it’s like she was never born.
Maybe that comforts you.
In death there is no grief. No loss.
While my life is a map of sadness.
I say without shame that I was an ambitious woman.
I wanted a high reputation.
I built one.
I watched it crack against the ground
fragile as a vase.
I have held myself to standards.
I have been beyond reproach.
They say a woman who walks will stray.
So I kept home.
Imagined the outside.
A person of position can command
even her own longing.
They say wit in a wife is a wayward sign.
So I spoke to myself.
I know how women become friends
swapping laughter and information.
It is addictive.
So I spoke to myself.
I am interesting.
My mind is a teacher.
They say the man is ruler
so he ruled.
They say talk in a woman is brass
so I was gold.
They say if you look at the sun you go blind
so I watched the floor for reflection.
And action during pregnancy causes disaster
so I lay with my feet up
waiting.
They say Andromache is a model wife.
They say Andromache is a lady.
They say now, I want Andromache.
The son of Achilles picked me from all the women
due to my reputation
which had of course spread to Greece.
A place I did not expect to see.
Mother.
They say something else.
A night of pleasure with one man
erases another.
There is a way to touch a woman so she forgets everything that went before
so she bucks against a face a hand a body
like a horse.
A mare if you switch her partner will refuse to bear the weight
and she is only a beast.
I hate women for this.
And I think about touch.
Hector, you were my everything.
Wise and beautiful, brave and rich.
I came to you a sealed box.
You unlocked me.
Now, in Greece,
I will fail you whatever I do.
Do you see why I call Polyxena lucky?
Hope is old candy.
I can’t eat it anymore.