PROJECT DAWN
GWEN
No I am not paying you back the four fifty. Because I didn’t leave your bus pass at home. You left your bus pass at home.
Meredith Joanne how is your bus pass my responsibility?
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
So by that logic every blessed thing in this house is my responsibility because by pitching in to the household that feeds, clothes and supports us all, you are only always and perpetually covering for me? Is that the logic? Every blessed thing that gets done around here gets done for mom? For Gwen? You better study harder if you want to be a lawyer because your logic is for the birds.
Let’s start with your premise that picking up Joey was my responsibility – Joey you are part of this conversation too, everybody is part of this conversation even Dad who’s out – get in here Joey.
Everyone is part of this blessed conversation.
Everyone is part of this blessed home.
I am an intelligent individual, I’m told between 8 am and 6 or 7 or 9 pm Monday through Friday sometimes Saturday and occasionally Sunday evening. Hundreds of college graduates apply every year to work for me, for minimum wage which I pay out of my pocket. Most would do it for free but I don’t take free interns because you know why? Because I cannot spend my blessed work days with entitled children and do you know why? Meredith Joanne? Joseph Andrew? Frances Connor? James Michael? Can any of you explain to me why I refuse to hire college graduates who can afford to work for free meaning ipso facto that mom and dad are underwriting their “careers?”
Because when someone works for you for free you owe them. They swap labor for experience and mentorship and whatever the flip else. I can’t swap. I need to walk into my office, regard a young person blooming up at me, and say, get the cartons in the hand truck.
And when I look up again I need to see the cartons in the hand truck.
And the next time there’s a pile of boxes I need them in the hand truck before I ask.
I can’t owe anyone another blessed thing. I would argue I don’t owe anyone another blessed thing. It is time it is time it is time for us to become a little more of a unit, people. A little more of some step up, people.
(Meredith talks. Gwen unloads scorn)
Obviously you didn’t birth your brother. That is the lamest excuse, come on Merry our brains work to a higher standard. Obviously you didn’t choose to be the eldest. But what’s the statute of limitations? I went to school in Uncle Pete’s shoes, am I calling Granny now to ask for a new pair? You eat the four fifty.
(Withering)
You can too breathe. You’re breathing right now or you wouldn’t whine.
A little more participation, all of you! A little more democracy in action!
(A doorbell we don’t hear)
Pizza’s here. Wash your hands and say grace.
No I am not paying you back the four fifty. Because I didn’t leave your bus pass at home. You left your bus pass at home.
Meredith Joanne how is your bus pass my responsibility?
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
So by that logic every blessed thing in this house is my responsibility because by pitching in to the household that feeds, clothes and supports us all, you are only always and perpetually covering for me? Is that the logic? Every blessed thing that gets done around here gets done for mom? For Gwen? You better study harder if you want to be a lawyer because your logic is for the birds.
Let’s start with your premise that picking up Joey was my responsibility – Joey you are part of this conversation too, everybody is part of this conversation even Dad who’s out – get in here Joey.
Everyone is part of this blessed conversation.
Everyone is part of this blessed home.
I am an intelligent individual, I’m told between 8 am and 6 or 7 or 9 pm Monday through Friday sometimes Saturday and occasionally Sunday evening. Hundreds of college graduates apply every year to work for me, for minimum wage which I pay out of my pocket. Most would do it for free but I don’t take free interns because you know why? Because I cannot spend my blessed work days with entitled children and do you know why? Meredith Joanne? Joseph Andrew? Frances Connor? James Michael? Can any of you explain to me why I refuse to hire college graduates who can afford to work for free meaning ipso facto that mom and dad are underwriting their “careers?”
Because when someone works for you for free you owe them. They swap labor for experience and mentorship and whatever the flip else. I can’t swap. I need to walk into my office, regard a young person blooming up at me, and say, get the cartons in the hand truck.
And when I look up again I need to see the cartons in the hand truck.
And the next time there’s a pile of boxes I need them in the hand truck before I ask.
I can’t owe anyone another blessed thing. I would argue I don’t owe anyone another blessed thing. It is time it is time it is time for us to become a little more of a unit, people. A little more of some step up, people.
(Meredith talks. Gwen unloads scorn)
Obviously you didn’t birth your brother. That is the lamest excuse, come on Merry our brains work to a higher standard. Obviously you didn’t choose to be the eldest. But what’s the statute of limitations? I went to school in Uncle Pete’s shoes, am I calling Granny now to ask for a new pair? You eat the four fifty.
(Withering)
You can too breathe. You’re breathing right now or you wouldn’t whine.
A little more participation, all of you! A little more democracy in action!
(A doorbell we don’t hear)
Pizza’s here. Wash your hands and say grace.